that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
