was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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