You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
