So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
