I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
