Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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