official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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