i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
