shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
