its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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