I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
