Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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