how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize