If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
