who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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