Say something about gay babies.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize