I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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