the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
