What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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