You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
