I wannas sexs uuuuu
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
