you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
