so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
try to milk me bitch
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