Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
