the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize