is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
