We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
