my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
