I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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