Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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