I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
