It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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