Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
