We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize