well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
