my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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