Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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