mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it glows. i had to have it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
