After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
