your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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