It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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