mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
