Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
