I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
