he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
