I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
