In America we eat man semen.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
