So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
