i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
