I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
