I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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