She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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