So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
