i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
