she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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