Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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