im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
