I wish I could teleport
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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