PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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