You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He better not be in your backpack
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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