Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
