Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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