I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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