every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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