I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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