Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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