Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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