i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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