I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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