i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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