im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
