Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
