Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
