Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
