Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
